Funerals and Babies

I am at a loss. Matt's grandmother passed away this weekend and tonight is the visitation. I hate visitations. I feel it is so disrespectful to socialize around the body of your loved one. When I die and leave this Earth I really hope people respect my wishes about my funeral and visitation. There will be no viewing of my dead body ravaged by age and maybe disease. No way Jose. What I want is a lovely picture of me in my prime displayed and yes people may gather and laugh and long lost relatives may reunite because of my death. So be it. The difference is that my dead body will not be in the room on display.
I do not want my boys to go to the visitation becuase I feel they are too young to be there. They knew Memaw but are not mourning her passing. They are too young and were not that close to her. The boys being there would be for the comfort of others and I am simply not comfortable with that. This is a two and a half hour visitation. Anything that length of time is simply TOO long for children their age. I would not take them to a church service that long either. I also do not want them to see Memaw like that. Let me be clear. She is not in her body any longer and I do not want my babies to associate what is left behind as her. She is in Heaven with God and her loved ones.
Apparently I am not going to be able to protect my boys from this. Whether I want them to attend is out of my hands. My husband's family are basically demanding they attend and my husband will not say no to them. That is that. I am being bullied at the expense of my children's innocence. I know my opinions are strong on this subject but that is the point. I feel strongly about this and hate the idea of subjecting my children to something I totally do not believe in. I do not want them to be traumatized and it is not like saying,"I told you so" to Matt will make it all better after the fact. If this was one of their grandparents or someone they were close to then I would want them to go if they wanted to in order to help them have closure and go through the mourning process. This is not the case in this situation. Once again I am being strong armed and if I stand my ground I will be the bad selfish daughter in law and wife.
My last hurt over this all and yes this is about my feelings on all of it and I am not currently in the mood to be open to how others feel... Matt agreed with me that it was not appropriate for our boys, 3 and 2 years old, to go tonight. Then once his mother says her opinion on the matter Matt throws me under the bus stating this is my idea alone and he is simply trying to placate me. Grr. He was in full agreement and did not want them to go and yet he could not or would not tell that to his mother. It is me and me alone. Rudeness. I loved Matt's grandmother and I mourn the loss of her all the while happy that she is finally where she wanted to be. She was so ready to leave this world it feel wrong to be really sad about it all. If I made a stink it stinks up the wrong thing. I want to honor Mrs Harris today for the great life she had. Therefor I really have no choice in this but if my babies are hurt by going I will never forgive them for it. There you have it, Taylor Morrison at her best.